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Q32024

we have all the resources within us

Quarter 3 of 2024: Intro

We are three-quarters of the way through 2024. We have a lot of things to do, but we are also learning a lot. I spent ⅔ of Q3 in Boston (really did felt like I overstayed: not as productive, distracted, not as focused, etc.) and traveled to Italy for my first time for a wedding.

I did not write everyday, I stopped journaling, I slept late. But seeing friends, catching up, and spending time with the homies was great.

Got back to the west coast on August 20th and had to get back to my structured routine - sleep early, wake up early, writing, reading, learning, documenting. The goal remains the same, to learn, grow, create, build, and improve. Put in the work every single day, track my progress, test my learning, and keep pushing myself to be better.

Travels: Italy & Switzerland

It was a blessing to be able to travel for 2.5 weeks to another country I've never been. Grateful to have been invited to friends' wedding. I wrote more about this in details via my post: Italy-Switzerland.

I loved every moment of it, it was hella chill and relaxing, the people and culture is hella chill & balanced.

So much beauty (everywhere) - excited for my next travels, whenever that may be.

Learning: Web Development & Coding

After my travels, coming back home, I picked up a project to build a website for a daycare. I had to learn a lot, to name a few: from purchasing domain, where to host and deploy, SEO, utilizing some tools (Webflow) and then building the website from ground up via code (Nextjs, Tailwindcss, React).

Coming from the financial sector and transitioning to coding & programming, it was a lot (and a lot more to learn), and I'm absolutely excited for the future. Sometimes, I find myself getting distracted with new technology - so many resources, so many tools, out there to be used and build on top of. Shout out & thankful for all the developers and builders out there, I look up and will learn from yall.

To note, if I knew more about programming, coding and the possibilities, I would have studied this in undergrad & focused on more math. Regardless, with enough passion, grit, drive, curiosity & hunger, I genuinely believe anyone have the capabilities to do anything (and everything).

Lets fucking get it-

Closing Thoughts

I am excited for the next 3-months. Somethings I need to work on: organization, planning out, setting goals, breaking out and simplifying, and taking action (with a sense of urgency, focus and priority).

Working on a few projects: building my own website, working on a simple booking software and sports data analyzer that has the capabilities to simulate games.

To improve: writing, creating, building, organization, coding, programming, databases.

Next quarterly post will have my website completed, hoping for another customer to build the portfolio out (would be great to have 2-3), and more organized structured writing.

Talk soon internet homies.

Q22024

nothing changes, if nothing changes

Quarter 2 of 2024: Intro

Half-way through the year - lots of internal work, introspection, unlearning/relearning, facing/unraveling the demons, understanding & acceptance. Traveled & explored, visited the place I was born/raised, seeing friends & family

The Demon(s): Self-love, Understanding & Acceptance

The self-realization of the demons surfaced something within me that has been repressed & suppressed my whole life. It forced me to step back, review and examine all the experiences & the patterns it followed - how it played out, why it played out like this or that, how I've come to these decisions, how did I get here. It boils down that I was not provided the equivalent or even close to the support, love and encouragement. Instead was consistently & constantly doubted, disapproval, given negative criticism & judgement, manipulation/gaslighting, disregarding my feelings/thoughts & inputs, never championing/focusing on my successes/accomplishments & the struggles, what i'm suppose to do, this is how it's done and the only way, etc. - this is my shadow

Understanding this has created and led me to a path of healing, self-love & acceptance. Being more gentle, patient & kinder to myself and giving myself the space & time for introspection & the inner-work

What comes after acceptance are branches of infinite paths; fearless & confident, constrained by nothing with endless unimaginable possibilities

Travels

On a more positive-note, I did some traveling: Boston -> Italy -> Switzerland -> Boston. Italy & Switzerland each uniquely has its charms and without a doubt both are gorgeous places filled with beautiful humans. I wrote more about it in details in a separate post, go read it there

Ending Thoughts

With focus & priority on the self holistically: anyone can get it

I am home

I've flown to the east-coast, to the place that I call my first home. Where I was born and raised, where I got my education, where I got my first job, where my parents resides, where most of my friends & family are and where I spent and experienced most of my formative life (25+ years).

The last time I was here was about 8-months ago (September 2023).

I will be only here for about a week and will be flying out to Milan, Italy to celebrate friends' partnership & love, and as one would call it, the ceremonial wedding.

While I am here in my old stomping grounds, I have a few administrative-chores to handle prior to flying out: haircut, figure the outfit/fitting, and international driving permit (IDP). I've already gotten the IDP, which you can only get via American Automobile Association (AAA) for a $20.00 fee. Fairly simple and straight-forward, you complete the 1-page application, bring your US Driver's License and are required to bring in two 2" by 2" photos printed (this can not be your license nor Passport which I found baffling tbh). If you don't have the two photos, they can take it there but at a ridiculous surcharge of $8.00 per photo, so $16.00 total. A whole monopoly and a scam in itself, but we digress.

Other than that with my limited time here, I will be enjoying my walks throughout the city - parks, downtown, neighborhood - to see for myself what has changed since my last visitation, what new businesses have opened, the continuous changes and developments, and prioritize visiting and spending time with parents & selective friends.

This place I call my first home, I love it genuinely and wholeheartedly. These were my roots, it created me and shaped who I am - but I am not tied down nor defined by it. Grateful and appreciate to have been here for the first half of my life and I am ready to begin my second half of this journey.

Quarter 1 of 2024: Intro

This year is flying by hella quick. Especially when you are doing something that you enjoy. I can recall my younger days being in school, in class and time was going by so slow. I'd stare at the clock as it slowly ticks second-by-second, watching the minute ticker move ever so slowly 6-degrees at a time.

I always wondered why and now that I've matured (sort of) and is more aware, it is because I absolutely did not want to be there, had no interest in the subject, and/or did not enjoy being there (required and expected of). I just had no interest in being forced into what was considered normal/standardized way of learning, IE: going to school and attending a fixed structured curriculum of classes. I never understood how someone can finish high-school and have a grasp of what they wanted to major in and decide on a career in life. I had no idea what I wanted to do, and I was very confident that I would have absolutely no idea what I wanted to do once I graduated - and being forced with a decision to apply to colleges with a good sense of what you wanted to do/pursue was beyond me. It never made sense to me and I couldn't understand it.

  1. I had no idea what I was really interested in (yet) nor wanted to do or pursue - so I was aimlessly learning (what I didn't like/forced to learn). Nothing captivated nor inspired me. Nothing felt like my calling that resonated within (the soul). And if I had any sense of my calling of interests (whatever it may be) to enchant me in its charms (pull me in, captivate) of curiosity-exploration-understanding, I could have focused on the pre-requisites (classes, books, etc.) and foundations (learnings, understanding, research and studies) to pursue those interests/calling of the soul, leading to creating the path/idealization for a rich in abundance & fulfilling life - which potentially would lead to careers that I wanted to be in.

Unfortunately, having no adult-figures, mentors or someone to learn from/look up to, I dropped out (at a very young age, 15) and ended up mindlessly distracted by playing video games (and other things) since it captivated and stimulated me. But I really wish I had the right people around me to be able to communicate & articulate via breakdown & simplify the complexities of video-games, programming, software in a digestible way for younger me to comprehend or have a grasp of - and how it was created with technologies of implementations of softwares, the structures & algorithms and to define it simplistically to the source/root, code. Now, I have a better understanding, that games are literally created out of nothing - these vast, beautiful worlds that tells stories, create communities, friendships/partnerships, competition (to be better), businesses/companies (brands - millions/billions) and a potential life/career outside the standard expectations of corporate (9-5). Companies built from ground up worth millions if not trillions - all from code. Individuals creating their own unique brands/products - creating and building products solves problem(s) and offers value. Fascinating, surreal and truly inspiring and dope as fuck.

Personal-Life Updates

From January to March, I spent some time focusing on self-care - evaluating what I've gone through these last couple years and just taking it slow to create an environment (safe & a place call home), removing the toxic/negative people in my life, taking care of my health and working on finding/surrounding/building a safe community of people that is continuously working on growing to be better and/or emulate/share similar values, ethics, philosophy - they work on themselves, make efforts to understand/sympathize with people, are honest, caring, respectful, supportive, have high-integrity and are truth seekers.

It has been very tough with such big changes - especially removing friends (whom I've known for more than half my life) and family (I was born into).

Also, I've never realized I've been gaslit, manipulated and abused my whole life, unfortunately through uncontrollable circumstances. These traumas and experiences are something I will have to continuously work on for the rest of my life. Nonetheless, I am grateful to be here and have this opportunity to learn, grow and move forward.

Other-Life Updates

I've started journaling (Feb 7th) consistently to practice writing so I can improve, remember and work through my feelings & thoughts. I don't really have a format nor structure, I just write what's in my head at the moment. It has help provide a lot of clarity - especially for the negative thoughts that you let marinate unconsciously in the head. So far, I've wrote in it every morning since February 7th - it is usually how I start my day and takes between 5 - 30 minutes. Sometimes my head is blank - so I let it wander a bit until thoughts come in. I don't force it and there are days where it takes me 10-minutes to write 2-3 sentences.

Other than that, I've been diving deep into the technology world - from the basics of coding/programming, web development to machine-learning, large-language-models and artificial intelligence and I'm absolutely fascinated by the stories, the people, the potential and the opportunities (created && yet to be created). It will have such a profound impact on all industries and it seems we are just in the beginning of it. So many markets have yet to implement nor know how implement such technologies, that can greatly improve efficiencies, solve complex problems, remove friction, and overall positively impact with the potential to exponentially push forward everything.

This is so exciting and I'm honestly just glad to be here.

🩵🩶💜💙

What a time to be alive

Open-source, coding, programming, machine-learning, large-language-models, technology - what a time to be alive.

So many opportunities, so much tech, so many options.

To be able to create a Local RAG Agent via Python + Streamlit + Embedchain + Groq (Llama3) and insert specific data is wild. From PDFs to docs, to website & documentation. I'm absolutely amazed and stunned at what I'm learning, and I've barely scratched the surface.

Excited to continue learning & improving through iterations with a growth mindset - to create and build something that provides value (whether improving efficiency, increasing output, reducing friction, etc.). To do so, I must hone the foundational skills, the technicalities and understanding necessary from 0 to 0.01.

Lucky to be here with all my limbs in tack & having the basic necessities (internet, laptop, a home).

Thankful & genuinely appreciate for all the people out there providing the free resources to learn, create and build.

Everything else is on me - my drive, my hunger, and my desire.

The Lost Art of Breathing

Book Source: Breath by James Nestor

Notes

  • Complex & not binary
  • Unconsciously = survival
  • Consciously = durability, strength, extension, mindful, longevity, rejuvenate
  • The ability to breathe correctly can heal and prevent a lot of life ailments (asthma, snoring, autoimmune disease, scoliosis, etc.)
  • Avoid chronic mouthbreathing: Shut your mouth, breathe through your nose: the body is not designed to process raw air for hours at a time, day or night

Highlights

  1. Consciously controlling breathing can significantly influence our nervous system function, sleep quality, heartbeat, and blood flow. [pg. 44]

  2. In a single breath, more molecules of air will pass through your nose than all the grains of sand of all the world's beaches-- trillions and trillions of them. [pg. 44]

  3. Breathing is a power switch to a vast network called the autonomic nervous system - two sections of this system:

    (1) Parasympathetic: stimulates relaxation and restoration

    (2) Sympathetic: stimulates signals to organs, telling them to get ready for action. heart rate increases, adrenaline kicks in, blood vessels constrict, pupils dilate, palms sweat, mind sharpens. it helps eases pain.

    counterintuitive to be in extended state of extreme sympathetic stress

  4. Some of us may be genetically predisposed toward one disease or another, that doesn't mean we're predestined to get these conditions. Genes can be turned off just as they can be turned on. What switches them are inputs in the environment. Improving diet and exercise and removing toxins and stressors from the home and workplace have a profound and lasting effect on the prevention and treatment of the majority of modern chronic diseases. [pg. 205]

  5. The human body has evolved to be able to breathe through two channels for a reason. It increases our chances of survival. Should the nose get obstructed, the mouth becomes a backup ventilation system. The few grasping breaths Stephen Curry takes before dunking a basketball, or a sick kid huffs when he has a fever, or you take in when you're laughing with your friends--this temporary mouthbreathing will have no long-term effects on health.

Actionable

  • Breathe through the nose -> inhale 5.5 seconds, exhale 5.5 seconds == 5.5 breaths a minute for 5.5 liters of air

Feels

"All living organisms are but leaves on the same tree of life - The various functions of plants and animals and their specialized organs are manifestations of the same living matter" -Albert Szent-Gyorgyi